Happy 1st Birthday William!

Today, we celebrated our angels 1st birthday. It was a day filled with many, many thoughts of him. Some sad thoughts, some happy thoughts, just alot of reminiscing about him. We laughed, we cried and most importantly, we thanked God for our time with His son. He was a gift, actually, he is a gift that keeps giving to all who know him everyday. We celebrated his birth at his graveside (I thank God daily that His earthly body is resting in a place full of our families heritage!), we released 12 balloons and prayed. His godmommie Servanie came down to share in this time with us. She said to me, "Lil Will does not want you to be sad all the time, it is OK to be happy and get back to normal." I definitely know, William wants us to be joyous and always remember what his obedience to our Father has taught us. Somedays, I am just sad! But, it is getting easier as the days go by. So today, Father we thank you for allowing us to parent Your son. We shall never take for granted the most precious gift of Prince William, yes! He is no longer Lil Will to us, he is William, our forever guardian angel. We love him and know he is resting in your arms. Amen.

The Messenger

I am still in awe of the beautiful portrait our dear friends Melinda and Jason Guerrero had made for us for Christmas! It is absolutely breathtaking. The best part about the painting is the story behind it. Melinda asked me for mine and William's favorite picture of Lil Will, so of course, we sent the one where he is pointing his little finger!( Preach! Teach! Spread God's word, my angel!) Melinda took the picture to an artist to have him paint just the picture of Lil Will. The associate told Melinda that she didn't think the artist would be able to paint just a picture of him on the size canvas she selected. When Melinda and Jason went to pick it up, she was not happy with the final product because it wasn't what she had requested and she didn't think we would like it. WE LOVE IT! The artist told her he painted it this way because Lil Will was an angel now, free of tubes (now what no one else knew was when I told William, Mel and J wanted a pic of Lil Will, he said I wonder what they are doing, whatever it is I hope they don't put the trach tube on there!) WOW! and he titled the painting, "The Messenger." When Melinda and Jason asked him why he titled the painting, The Messenger. He simply said, "Look at that finger!" How awesome is our God?! He ministered to this artist as he painted a portrait of Lil Will. The artist didn't know Lil Will or us or our story. What a blessing! There are not enough words for us to thank Melinda and Jason for this most special gift. We will cherish it forever! We love you guys!!

P. S. The last picture is the actual picture the artist used to create the painting!

A night out.....

Tonight it was nice to get dressed up and go out and have a good time! It was a great Christmas party shared with family (Tam & Den) and friends with lotsa of laughter, great food & drinks and some good ole fashion dancing! Happy Holidays to everyone!

Your will be done!

This morning as I was exercising the Lord was speaking to me and when I finished, I was listening to Hezekiah Walker's song, "I Need you to survive." What a powerful song! During my time of meditation as that song played, I felt the Lord with his arms around my shoulders and right now as I am typing this message He is still holding me. Are you feeling alone today? Has the depression snuck in because it is the holiday season? Today, the Lord says to you, allow me to hold you. Allow me to complete you. Cast your burdens upon me, I care for you! The scripture He gave me this morning is Luke 22:42, Father if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done. I read the scripture and this is what the Father said to me, think of the cup as your life, all of it, worries, concerns, bills, health, all these things that weigh you down. Give them to Me. We cannot both hold the cup so give it to Me completely so My will can be done. Enough said, I thank you Father for Your word. May each of you reading this post stand on what God has spoken to us today. Be blessed!

11 months old

Today, our angel is 11 months old! Time has flown by, even though his physical body does not dwell with us, his spiritual body is with us everyday! So, today, 11/28/2009, we celebrated Lil Will. We set off 11 balloons each filled with a picture of him and the address to his blog. Our continued prayer is that these balloons reach the people God has selected. For He is the only one who truly knows what each of us need, when we need it and He will supply each and every one of our needs. Some wonder, I am sure, was today a hard day for us, absolutely, but we still stand in faith that God knows what is best for us and never, ever gives any of us any more than we can bear. So, happy 11th month old birthday lil one, we love you, we miss you and you live in our hearts forever! To God be the glory for the great things He has done!

Joy, Joy, God's great JOY!!!!

It is very important to our family to never allow Lil Will's memory to fade from our lives. As many of you know, Lil Will's earthly body is at rest in our family cemetery so his meemaw and granddaddy keep a close on eye him everyday. William and I try to go visit him as often as we can but sometimes our ministry and work obligations prevent us from doing so. Thanksgiving was the first time in two months that we had the opportunity to spend sometime with Lil Will at his grave site. We knew we wanted to decorate his site for this holiday season and the seasons to come even after we have selected his headstone. Although it was hard to be at his site, it was also a very joyous occasion. His spirit was there with us and God's arms were wrapped around us as we decorated his Christmas tree and placed his reindeer at his head. God walked with us during this past year and He was walking around with us on today as we decorated His son's grave site. God filled our hearts with joy even though were sad that our angel was not with us physically to celebrate Thanksgiving. Our son spent the day with our Father. We do not have to worry where he is, we know he is in the perfect arms of our Master, safe and sound. So, Father, I thank you for life, I thank you for the gift of my son, William Thomas Myers Carlisle. I thank you for your grace and your mercy. I thank you that you are a God who cares for us, who supplies our every need and never gives up on us. You are so awesome! I thank you for the joy, you give me even when my heart may be aching, I know there is hope in you. I love you Father!

Today, find joy in everything you do, big or small. God loves you and he wants you to be joyful not only during this season but in every season. God Bless you all!!

Just goofing around

As the days go by we are starting to feel like ourselves again. For me the clouds are lifting slowly day by day. Today was hard but our love and our faith keep us going from day to day. This is just a few pics we took of ourselves on Thanksgiving night. We truly have many things to be thankful!

What are you thankful today?

As Thanksgiving quickly approaches, many of us are thinking about family, what we are thankful for and what preparations we need to make to celebrate Thanksgiving. Thankfulness should be in our hearts and minds everyday not just when November comes around and we celebrate Thanksgiving day. We should be thankful for waking up each morning with a sound mind, with activity in our limbs and to find that our loved ones are all safe. What are you thankful for today? When you awakened this morning, did you take 10 seconds to say, "Thank you, Dad?" Thank you for keeping us safe as we slumbered and slept in the image of death. Thank you for every blessing in my life. My family, my health, my freedom, my job......Did you stop to do this or did you just rush about your morning thinking about what YOU had to do not what work GOD wants to do through you? I am not perfect so as the Lord is ministering through me to you, he is also ministering to me too. So, today, I say be grateful, be thankful, just be satisfied in the place God has you right now. Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! I love you all!

P.S. Our family on last Thanksgiving, we were looking forward to the birth of our Lil Will!

My ANGEL sent by God on 7/16/09

I know I have shared this story with several of you but I received an email from Charlotte the other day and it made me recount 7/16/09. I did not recount the day in a bad way, it is ok to look back, you just cannot get stuck there. So, on the day, I learned my angel had received his angel wings, God sent me an angel to sit with me and comfort me as I flew home from Austin. She has such a wonderful spirit, her name is Charlotte. Charlotte has 2 beautiful children, 1 boy and 1 girl. Her little girl is affected by Batten's Disease. This is a fatal degenerative disease. As much as she and her husband fight to raise money for a cure, they know their angel will die. They are christian family who know God is in control and believe that He is the miracle worker so they are living each day to the fullest! Charlotte, I thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit who had you change seats to sit with me. Your presence even though you may not realize it helped to calm me on the longest plane ride of my life. I still hold on to the cross you gave me, it will always hold a very special place. As each of our families embark on the new journey God has prepared for us, we know that He is in the midst of it and has many more blessings in store for us. I pray God's covering on you and your family daily. God bless you and again, thank you for being such a wonderful angel!

For those of you who are continuing to follow our story, please go to http://www.beyondbatten.org/ to read about the families affected by this disease and to help raise awareness!!!

I love you all!

The many faces of Lil Will......

A simple smile.....

Sometimes in life, we are dealt with circumstances that we can not control. It is how we react to those circumstances that classifies us as strong or weak individuals. We chose to stay strong while Lil Will was in the hospital because we wanted to share his story as leaders to help other people in this world learn how awesome God is, give people hope in their own rough journey and to share love in any possible way. We wanted to be strong no matter what happened and give God all of our fears or sadness and trust in Him that He will take care of us. And you know what? He did. When we put God first, He controlled our feelings and everything fell perfectly in to place. Some may say, how did everything fall into place perfectly, Lil Will is gone. It did because God's PERFECT will was done through Lil Will.

With everything that has happened this past year, we realized that life is too precious to not do what you love to do and help others in the process. Whether you share your story to help others grow as individuals through a blog or in your workplace, we need to do what God's plan is for us the best way we possibly can. So continuing to share our lives with you all is the direction we are going with this blog. Whether it is through troubled times or exciting times, we will continue to pour our hearts out with the sole purpose of helping others. We may not be the perfect family all the time, but with God leading our train, we know we can be.

Having said that, it has been some time since I last posted. I have been traveling quite a bit for work. It does keep my mind busy. Honestly, I have been having a hard time. You know it comes in spurts, in phases so to speak. There are days when I think about my angel and my thoughts are filled with happiness, thankfulness, joy and many other emotions! And then there are those days where my thoughts are tremendously sorrow filled. Lately, I have had far too many of those days. When does this get easier? That is a question I have been asking God alot lately? He just tells me it takes time and that it is OK to cry. BUT, I must not feel as if there is no tomorrow, I cannot allow myself to dig in and just wallow in self pity. It is so hard!! Grief is a process and everyone goes through the process differently. I am just, I guess, slower than some. BUT, the most important thing is that I do go through the process. I was reminded of this by one of my dear friends. Several years ago (2004) she wrote a poem, but never shared it with anyone. She always wondered why she never threw the paper away that had the poem on it but a couple of Saturdays ago, God shared with her that she was to share the poem with me. It is truly beautiful! This poem was sent especially for me. When she gave it to me and I read it, as you can only imagine my eyes filled with tears and I was so overjoyed that God would save this poem just for me! Just another example of how God orders our steps.
He knows what is best for always.

Today, I want to share it with you.

An Angel Diary

I fall asleep as angels sing

waiting in line to get my wings.

I understand God's meaning of this,

I went away with a loving kiss.

Before I left your warm embrace,

I wanted to see a smile on your face.

Although, it hurst still the same I am

glad you gave me my name.

My name is William Thomas Myers-Carlisle (in her original poem this was a fill in the blank)

it came from your heart.

You took the time to name me.

Although my stay was short, wipe your weeping

eye, it hurts to see you cry.

My Father here in heaven loves me

so please don't ask him why?

So, here in heaven is where I stay

come talk to me when you pray.

Lil Will put that smile on my face 7/14/09, just 2 days before he went to be with God. For months and months I tried to get a picture of him smiling. Never could I catch it! He would grin, I would take a picture and get some other facial expression (still cute!) and I would be mad. William would always get him on video smiling in his sleep not me. AND just 2 days before he went to heaven, he put that smile on his momma's face! See how God knew what to give me when I needed it? What if he had allowed me to get the picture months earlier? Would this one have been as special? I would say it wouldn't have been, no! God did what only He can do. That picture is one of my most favorites and I can only imagine all of the things Lil Will was thinking about as he smiled while he was drifting off to sleep. Was he playing with the angels and listening to God tell him that his work on earth was almost done? Was he telling him that soon you will be home with Me? Was he easing his mind and letting him know that He would come and take him home to heaven when we were not with him so we could let him go? Whatever he was thinking, I take comfort in imagining what the conversation was between Lil Will and God.

God knows what is best for us always. I encourage each of you to live to the fullest potential that God has for you. Never allow fear to overtake you. Stand strong and firm in your beliefs. And know that God is our friend, so talk to Him like you speak to your friends. Develop your own language with Him, our God is awesome and He has a super sense of humor! Each day is an awesome opportunity for us to grow stronger in our faith! I love you all!!

Walking by Faith

I am so proud of my husband and I know our son, Lil Will is shouting hallelujah everyday!

He is walking boldly in the calling that God has placed upon his life. It is not something he just talks about, he is lives it everyday. I know that William was stepping out on faith to apply to the Chaplain Ministry at Children's Medical Center. It was not something he did without really thinking about it and praying about it. It was a big step. It was emotional. It was scary. BUT, he did it! He was obedient and God is blessing him everyday for his obedience. I know that William can truly minister to these families, for he has walked in their shoes. He has wondered why me God? He has prayed for the ailment to be his and not his son's. He can truly empathize with these families. He will not just be reciting scripture and giving "lip" service to these families. He will actually be walking alongside them stride for stride during their storms, truly understanding what they are feeling, truly understanding their fears, truly feeling their hopelessness. But, the one difference he will be able to share with these families is he can share that God will provide for all of their needs. What a blessing he will be to these families and what an asset he will be to Children's Medical Center's Chaplain Ministry. I am so blessed to be the wife of such a truly God fearing man. I love you William!

THE GOD OF ALL COMFORT

On Monday, October 12, 2009, I will begin to minister at Children's Medical Center at Legacy as a chaplain. I know Lil Will will be with me as I do rounds and speak with patients and families. I know the Lord will lead me and guide me to comfort those who had their worlds turned upside down. At the same time I am nervous because this is outside of what I am used to. I believe the Lord lead us into situations that are not comfortable because He desires growth within us. So I will go in with this is mind on Monday:


Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

You see we have a choice to turn our afflictions, troubles, and tribulations into comfort for someone else, but this is not done in our own strength it is done in the strength of the Spirit of God. He is the God of all comfort who comforted us while we were going through with Lil Will and out of that comfort He transformed our afflictions, our troubles, and our tribulations into a ministry of comfort for others to witness and partake of. There is nothing extraordinary about Sequita and I. We love the Lord and He loves us and He trusted us to obey Him through out our physical time with Lil Will and even during our times of grief.

I had friends get mad at God about what happened with Lil Will and I found myself by the grace of God comforting them with the same words that God comforted me. I don't want to see any of my friends or family outside the will of God because of troubles in life. I don't want to see any of the patients and their families outside the will of God because of troubles in their lives.

There were friends of mine that did not handle Lil Will departure very well and they had some serious questions and complaints about how God handled the situation. One said, Why does God keep picking on you? The other one said, Why is He so cruel to you? I said, I don't see it that way.

There are some things that happen in our lives for the benefit of others and God says, "I trust you to be a soldier to endure hardship that others may be comforted and understand that I love them regardless of what trouble may bring.

There are other people we know who did not know Lil Will passed and some of them say things like, "You sound so strong", and they draw encouragement and strength from our testimony. So we have had many different responses from different people but we continually stand because of our Comforter.

I will be able to walk into Childrens Medical Center on Monday and minister with compassion because I have received compassion. I will be able to minister with understanding because He has caused me to understand. I will be able to minister comfort because He has comfort me.

Now here is a challenge for you. Have you allowed God to comfort you that you may be able to comfort someone else? Have you allowed God to speak to you in your troubles so that you can speak to someone else in their trouble?

We are God hands and we know God's heart, He want us to share Him with others out of our joy and our sorrow. Please keep that in mind. We love you all.

Tribulation will come and go in our lives but we choose who we will go through it with. I pray that you go through with the Lord instead of without Him.

Celebrating YOU, Lil Will! (9 months!)

Happy 9 months, Lil Will! The time has flown by since you left us to be with God. You will forever live in our hearts everyday. A day doesn't pass that I do not feel your presence. I feel you in the gentle breeze that blows near my neck and my face when I am in my office working, driving in the car. Just the other day when I was on the plane, as I looked out the window and thought about how awesome our God is, I was thinking about you and started to weep. I was weeping because I was missing you and thinking of the things you would be doing now, if you were here, physically with us. How you would be crawling, laughing alot, and maybe even trying to walk but for sure pulling yourself up. I have to be honest, I was feeling sorry for myself. Having one of those moments, wishing it wasn't me, wishing my baby was back here with me. But, before I could wallow in self pity too long, that gentle breeze was on my face and your touch comforted me. I love you, my sweet angel!

I know you were with me today as I was making the inserts to go in the balloons. You are always with me. I felt your presence in your dad's office. Today, your Auntie Tammy, Uncle Dennis, Jayden and your big brother Cameron were able to share with me and your daddy in the releasing of balloons to honor you and your memory. Only God knows where your balloons will end up but we know He has handpicked the recipients so the work He started in you will continue to go forth and show others what an awesome God we serve!

I am proud to be your momma! Your life and your legacy will live on forever. Your daddy and I will always make sure you are remembered, that your message of hope is shared with everyone we meet. You were an angel on earth and now you are one of God's strongest, toughest, most faithful angels! I love you and I miss you terribly!