What if? What if God?

These pictures were taken 3/11 - 3/13......

It has been a few days since my last post. I must admit, it has been a rough week for me, on many different levels. Although, I miss Lil Will everyday, there are some days where I miss him so, so much. Thoughts of him are heavy on my mind and my heart is heavy with sorrow, with sadness, not without hope but I guess it is just the normal grief process. This week I thought alot about what ifs? What if Lil Will had died in utero? How would I have felt? How do mothers feel when this happens to them? I can only imagine how I would have felt, never being able to hold the precious gift you carried in your womb? How do you heal from that experience? What if Lil Will had died shortly after birth? Yes, as mom, you would have held your miracle but you would never be able to make any memories with your angel. What if I can never get pregnant again? During the midst of all these "what ifs", I had to go to the doctor for my annual physical? ARGH! I just didn't want to go to this appointment, I was afraid of AGAIN!...the what ifs? What if, I was diabetic? What if my cholesterol is too high? What if? What if? What if? Well, if we live in a "what if land" we are not allowing God to just BE in our lives. God met me where I was this week, in my "what if land". He told me there are some things I need to change in my life, eating habits and to take better care of myself so he can bless me with another pregnancy. He also told me, you carried Lil Will to term, he was born and lived, yes, I only gave him to you for 201 days , 4 hours and 17 minutes but you were able to create wonderful memories, I strengthened your relationship with me, I helped you mend broken relationships, I allowed Lil Will to minister to many, many you will never know but through him My work was done. I chose you and only you, you were the only mother who could give Lil Will what he needed while he was doing My work. I chose you because I knew when it was time, you would give him back to me freely without question. I want you to rise up, I want you to grieve but do not grieve like there is no hope, no tomorrow for I am with you even until the end of the earth. I am not diabetic, PRAISE GOD! My cholesterol level is a bit high but God is good and He is a healer. I claim healing in my body right now. We have to be careful of the words we speak, the tongue is a powerful weapon. Speak life, speak positive things in your life. The preacher today said, why do we say we feel like we are going to catch a cold? Or I am broke? Our God is rich in all things, so we are never broke and we are not going to catch a cold! Do not speak negative things into existence in your life! Think positively, speak positively and live to the fullest potential God has for each of your lives.

Before I close, there is a song that comes to mind right now, the artist is Christopher Brinson. The song is "What if God?" Some of the lyrics are, What if God is unhappy with our praise, what if He is not pleased with the words we say, what if He takes away His love and His spirit from above, what if God is unhappy with our praise. We must change the way we walk, we must change the way we talk and live the life that is pleasing to our King. We must read God's holy word, let His praises be heard, Lord just be pleased with our praise! Is He pleased with your praise, your walk and your talk! Are you sharing your praises with others? Lord, be happy with my praise, my walk and my talk! If it is not pleasing to you, show me how to fix it, I want you to pleased with my PRAISE!